Feb 14

Finding True Love (2.0 Version)

By shaydawkins | Mental & Emotional Health , Relationships

Five years ago, I published this article, 3 Days for Find True Love Any Time of the Year, regarding my first book, and this article was where I felt my writing began to “transition” and go up a notch to what eventually would become iSin, my recently published book. (Shhhhh… don’t tell anyone, but iSin is only .99 for just this week on my website via using the promo code “Launch” (there is a link at the very bottom of the page)– and this is my first and last shameless plug).  Over the past five years, I have grown SOOOOOO MUCH personally (from my many “mistakes” and successes) and as a writer so now I will revisit that article, expand on it, get a little deep,  and most importantly HAVE SOME FUN– SO MUCH FUN– that this post ENRICHES anyone who takes the time to read it; oh, and if you didn’t know my writing style is unique, fun, and candid; so, get ready for an experience!

Hop on board and strap yourself in because we are about to take a little RIDE! 

rollercoaster-beginning

*All Songs Suggested for this article can be found on my Spotify Playlist entitled “Finding True Love” (Search: “Shay.Dawkins” on Spotify)

Song: “I’m a Believer” -The Monkees

I BELIEVE

I’m a BELIEVER in the POWER of an intelligent, informed MIND via science, logic, and reason YET I am also a BELIEVER in the POWER of emotional intelligence via spirituality, practicing good (solution-focused) thoughts, and learning to generate good, love-based EMOTIONS.  I am a BELIEVER in protecting our environment, the freedom for ALL to LOVE and MARRY who they so choose YET I am also a BELIEVER in making a dollar via FREE MARKETS, providing people with opportunity (jobs) to support themselves, and although I BELIEVE in the freedom for ALL to LOVE, BE WITH, and MARRY who they so choose, I DO NOT BELIEVE in “promoting” my or anyone’s sexual orientation as the “RIGHT WAY” and “shoving an agenda down other peoples’ throats” on an “end all-be all” basis.

I’m a BELIEVER in being aware of “external” circumstances, problems, and political candidates whose decisions I may or may not agree with YET I BELIEVE that your and my INTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES are much more IMPORTANT, PERTINENT, and POWERFUL than any external circumstances.  I BELIEVE in discussing issues (problems) with the GOAL to understand and SOLVE those problems.  I BELIEVE in DISAGREEING and DISAGREEING so PASSIONATELY that I FIND GOOD, LOGICAL REASONS to BACK UP the BELIEFS I AM PASSIONATE about.  I BELIEVE that it is OK to naturally “not like” some individuals you will come across YET I ALSO BELIEVE that LOVE (TRUE LOVE found from within) is MORE IMPORTANT and that ARGUMENTS in and of themselves are WRONG and BAD (SINFUL).  I BELIEVE that EVERY PERSON should LOVE THEMSELVES FIRST and BE SELFISH enough to find their love, peace, and joy from WITHIN THEMSELVES YET I BELIEVE and KNOW from first-hand experience that TO LOVE YOURSELF you must LOVE and CARE for others as a LIFE BUILT for LONG-TERM SUCCESS both INTERNALLY (happiness, peace, love, and joy) and EXTERNALLY (financially, social status, and nice materialistic things) can only be attained with a STRONG TEAM that YOU BUILD around you through the HARD WORK of CHOOSING LOVE– TOUGH LOVE, REAL LOVE, COMPASSIONATE LOVE, CARING LOVE– on that darkest day when your relationship WILL BE put to the ultimate test!

AYYYYYYY!  BELIEVE in YOURSELF; BELIEVE that LOVE WINS; I BELIEVE!

roller-coaster-2

FEEL (FILL) the REAL

What is really real?  A dog can smell things that we (as humans) can’t; just because we can’t smell what a dog smells, then does that mean those smells don’t exist?  You can’t see anger, but you sure as hell can FEEL IT!  You can’t see love, but (oh man) you can FEEL IT!  You can’t see disappointment, but you can definitely can FEEL IT!  You can’t see happiness, but you can FEEL IT!  So, if we can’t see anger, love, disappointment, and happiness in a “physical form,” then does that mean these EMOTIONS do not exist?

What if I told you there was a logical way to manipulate your EMOTIONS?  What if I told you that REALEST things in this life experience are not the things you can physically SEE, but are the EMOTIONS you and I can only FEEL?  What if there was a point where spirituality and logic meshed together as ONE?  What if you REALLY are CREATING YOUR LIFE via what you are predominately FEELING– FILLING YOURSELF WITH?!  What if I told you there was a SOLE SOURCE you could TAP INTO any time, any place, and anywhere that would enable you to FIND YOUR ANSWERS, FULFILL YOU, EMPOWER YOU, and ENERGIZE YOU to the point where you may find it hard to sleep because you are FILLED with so much PASSION, MEANING, PURPOSE, and EXCITEMENT for YOUR LIFE?!

Well, the GOOD NEWS is that THERE IS an EASY, SIMPLE SOLUTION that will enable you to manipulate your emotions and create your life however you see fit; this ONE SOLE SOURCE will provide you INTERNALLY with the following: TRUE LOVE, answers, fulfillment, empowerment, energy, passion, meaning, purpose, and excitement. The “BAD” NEWS is that IT’S EXTREMELY HARD WORK!  Now, before I go any further, I do not want to sugar coat what I am about to discuss because I believe in mentioning the UGLY aspects upfront of choosing to tap into this source of TRUE LOVE.

roller-coaster-3

Song: “Energy” -Drake


The Ugly Truth

Symptoms you may experience, if you make the choice to FIND TRUE LOVE:

  1. “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” -Unknown
    This source of true love will enable you to see the truth, and the truth is hard to handle at first because the truth is blunt and apparent; hence, some family and “friends” you previously thought “had your back” may betray you and may not like the “new you.”  Misery loves company, BUT HAPPY PEOPLE LIKE HAPPY PEOPLE.  If this occurs to you, then YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE TO PERCEIVE some people being “cut out of your life” as “bad”  because “things are falling a part” OR you can perceive it as “good” because “the small cancers are being removed from your life” and “better things are falling together.”
  2. “GREAT progress is almost always met with GREAT resistance.” -Shay Dawkins You very likely will begin to QUESTION ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.  It is much easier to stay asleep and “keep going through the motions,” than it is to WAKE UP and begin to see things and people for who they truly are (internally).  I discuss how to develop an “Internal Raydar” throughout iSin which is much like “feeling the force” (for any Star Wars fans), and as you develop this “Internal Raydar” you will become “vibe sensitive” or “consciously sensitive to the energy around you” which will give you the ability to feel the “negative energy (darkness)” residing within people and in certain places (situations) which sounds cool (it is cool), because you will be able to avoid bad situations.  However, (at first) you may be “misunderstood” by those who don’t know the “new you” yet.  This can potentially cause you to FEEL ALONE and experience loneliness.  If (and more than likely when) this happens to you, then YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE TO PERCEIVE it as “bad,” because (no matter what anyone says) no one likes to FEEL ALONE OR you can perceive it as “good” because you are simply experiencing “growing pains” in that you are growing, learning, and progressing which is a GOOD THING!  Let me emphasize that there is a BIG difference between being alone (having “You Time”) and FEELING ALONE.  By the way, I still battle this “lonely aspect” to some degree, but the occurrences I deal with have dwindled down to extremely rare, “close to extinct” occurrences.  Lastly, no that you are NOT ALONE– your LOVE, PEACE, and JOY are always within you and you WILL NEVER LOSE (INTERNALLY) as long as you REALIZE YOUR GREAT POTENTAL, KEEP MOVING FORWARD, and DON’T GIVE UP!  Furthermore, this iSin Blog and I, personally, am here.  Most of the time when a person “FEELS ALONE” the quickest solution is to simply talk to someone and “vent your emotions” to get what is bothering you OUT OF YOU!  You can feel free to message me, comment on the blog, and reach out to me– I do have somewhat of a life away from iSin (haha)) and can’t guarantee how quickly I will respond, but I will.  Over time, there will be a community of people here on the iSin Blog (Community) that you can “lean on” and simply talk to, if and when you need it.
  3. “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” -Jesus

    If and when you experience point #1 and are “feeling betrayed” or “being done wrong,” then YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE to find the strength to let those people LEAVE while FORGIVING THEM, simultaneously; MOST IMPORTANTLY, you do not forgive them for them as you forgive them FOR YOU!  A lot of people who realize the truth are emotionally intelligent and intelligent overall, but knowing the truth and “realizing wrong” can easily lead to LIVING IN ANGER (WRATH).  Trust me, it’s taken me a LONG TIME to get to where I am today in that 95% of the time I now am able to USE “FEELING ANGRY” as a “positive tool” for myself via “focusing the high energy of anger” into simply “focused energy,” but it has been a long, winding road to get to this point.  If and when you feel yourself getting angry too often, then there are some simple tools that are EASY to practice, but it is hard to create the habit of remembering to do them when anger has the best of you.  One tool is to create the thought (mind frame) of “picking your battles (Is the situation really that important?),” and another tool is to simply find something or someone to appreciate and be thankful for.

morpheus-red-pill-blue-pill

Song: “Hero” -Mariah Carey

The Source: F.L.Y.

The EASY, SIMPLE SOLUTION that will enable you to manipulate your emotions, create your life however you see fit, and provide you INTERNALLY with TRUE LOVE, answers, fulfillment, empowerment, energy, passion, meaning, purpose, and excitement is to

F.L.Y.
First Love Yourself

What does this really mean though?
In a nutshell, this means to realize the POWER OF YOUR THOUGHTS because YOUR THOUGHTS GENERATE YOUR EMOTIONS and YOUR EMOTIONS cause you to FEEL which causes you to be “FILLED WITH” whatever YOU ARE FEELING.  If you go back to the previous section, then look where I bolded “YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE” when pertaining to how you can respond to a negative, external circumstance. YOU always HAVE A CHOICE to CHANGE YOUR MIND when it comes to PERCEIVING EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES.  You can CHOOSE to “be a victim of EXTERNAL circumstances and let your circumstances define you” OR you can CHOOSE to be a “CREATOR of YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES and define your circumstances.”

10 Good Thinking Habits
(Excerpt from the iSin Chapter, “Love Your Mind”)

“To be made new in the attitude and thoughts of your mind.” –Ephesians 4:23

1)  Constantly listen to music that makes you FEEL GOOD. Let me reiterate that your DAY will be a LOT MORE FUN with MUSIC, especially good MUSIC that you ENJOY!

2)  Constantly find things to appreciate and say “thank you” to.

3)  Constantly find things that MAKE YOU LAUGH.

4)  Watch inspirational videos that get you “HYPED” and build your energy.

5)  Surround yourself with people who “build you up (build your energy)” and enable you to DWELL on GOOD.

6)  Find multiple “carrot sticks” (as mentioned in a previous chapter) or “fellowship events” that break up the monotony of your week and give you something to look forward to every week.

7)  Actively think to yourself, “How can I ENJOY this PHENOMENAL day with BOUNDLESS OPPORTUNITY to the ABSOLUTE FULLEST?!?!?”

8)  Find someone to give an honest compliment too. Making others feel good will essentially make you feel good (most of the time).

9)  If angry, find a productive way to vent such as working out, writing, etc.; transform the high energy of anger into productive energy for you that serves you.

10)  Constantly find and dwell on small “wins” you have accomplished

Jun 03

What is Emotional Intelligence?

By Aireen Panganiban | Mental & Emotional Health

What is Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to a person’s ability to recognize emotions within themselves and others, and understand these emotions. It is the ability to use emotional cues as guide to one’s thoughts, behaviors and actions. An emotionally intelligent person is able to adapt to changing environments, and continue to work towards a goal.

If this sounds like the description of a successful salesperson, you’re correct. Emotional intelligence has an immense impact on sales performance. In fact, Colleen Stanley, author of Emotional Intelligence For Sales Success (in an interview with sales speaker and strategist Jill Konrath), describes EI as: “It’s your ability to identify, assess and control your own emotions and other’s emotions. It has a direct impact on sales results.”

Emotional Intelligence in Sales

Emotional intelligence was coined for a paper by Michael Beldoch, Clinical Professor of Psychology in Psychiatry at Cornell University. It was made into a buzzword by Daniel Goleman and his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence.

In the book, Goleman claims that EI matters more than technical expertise when it comes to job performance and leadership, and that 67% of the abilities required for success derive from emotional intelligence.

This rings true in sales, where the ability to develop and sustain relationships is essential to success. There’s only so much that theory can do. The true test of a great salesperson is when you put them in stressful situations. Many make the mistake of letting their emotions overpower their purpose/ goal. This leads to unproductive behaviors, such as product dumping, pursuing non-qualified leads and more. It can also turn prospects off, instead of bringing them into the fold.

A study by Gallup consultants Tony Rutigliano and Benson Smith claims that customer satisfaction and loyalty depend on their emotional connection with the salesperson. They say that a customer is 12 times more likely to remain loyal if they like the salesperson.

Top Emotional Intelligence Competencies in Sales

There are key emotional intelligence competencies that are shared by successful salespersons.

Empathy
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the shoes of your prospect. It is when you go outside of yourself in order to be aware and understand another person’s feelings and needs.

In sales, it bears on your general outlook towards another person. Are you able to look at them objectively? Do you try to understand their motivations? Is your customer service attentive and able to anticipate customer needs?

Self-Awareness
Shift your focus from your prospects for a moment and look at yourself. Remember that you also have your own set of motivations and needs. You have your own strengths and limitations, as well.

Wherever you are in ‘knowing yourself’ affects how you reach out to others. Do you come off as confident? Are you able to stand your ground and persuade your audience to consider your side? Can you influence and gain the commitment of your prospect?

Colleen Stanley puts it succinctly: “Know thyself. What are your hot buttons? What situations cause you to react or not act in a manner that serves you well personally and professionally?”

Once you have a good level of self-awareness, you can be strategic in how you approach business relationships. Play on your strengths instead of highlighting your weaknesses. Put your best foot forward as you work towards self-improvement and becoming a more emotionally intelligent salesperson.

Self-View
A salesperson eats rejection for breakfast. Thus, if you want to succeed in this field, you need to have a healthy level of self-esteem. Rejection is a part of sales. A salesperson achieves success by facing this reality, and waking up each day ready for breakfast!

Self-Expectation
What do you want for yourself and how do you hope to achieve this? Are you driven enough to try to attain your goals? Do you have what it takes to sustain the work necessary to achieving these goals?

There is a process in sales, which usually takes months. It is not a field suited for someone who is incapable of delayed gratification. The hours are long; and the work can sometimes be frustrating. You need to be driven, consistent, and optimistic if you want to succeed in sales.

Emotional Intelligence for Your Sales Team

Several high-profile companies, such as Motorola, 3M, American Express, Honeywell and MetLife have begun to offer emotional intelligence improvement programs as part of their management training. While EI in sales is still new, several sales leaders are already integrating emotional intelligence training into their sales training programs.

According to Collen Stanley: “Elevating your Sales EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) helps you sell bigger deals, in less time at full margin…. You have a sales team that knows how to manage themselves, read prospects better and overall are more enjoyable to work with.”

This article is written by Dan Sincavage, and is originally published at Tenfold.

Apr 24

Self-Awareness Test: What is your natural communication method?

By shaydawkins | Mental & Emotional Health

Self-Awareness Test

Category of Self-Awareness: Natural Personality
Aspect of Self-Awareness: Natural Communication Method

Understanding your Natural Communication Method (NCM) is important, but it is also important to note that you are capable of learning the other communication methods. It is important to understand your NCM; so, you are enabled to create a role in your vocation that most embraces your NCM.

Natural Communication Method Test

Below are ten horizontal rows with four words on each line. In each line, put "4" below the word or statement that best describes you in that row; a "3" below the word or statement that describes you next best; a "2" below the next best word or statement, and a "1" below the word or statement that least describes you. On each row, you will have one "4," one "3," one "2," and one "1."
PAPA-ASASAG
Total PA:

_________
Total PA-AS:

_________
Total AS:

_________
Total AG:

_________
Likes to Listen

_________
Likes to Share Knowledge

_________
Likes to Provide Guidance

_________
Likes to Inspire & Motivate

_________
Sensitive Feelings

_________
Likes Instructions

_________
Enthusiastic

_________
Takes Charge

_________
Nurturing

_________
Detail-Oriented

_________
Spontaneous

_________
Decision Maker

_________
Sympathetic

_________
Perfectionist

_________
Practical

_________
Bold

_________
"Rules should be fair."


_________
"Rules should be followed."

_________
"Rules can be bent."


_________
"You make your own rules."


_________
Enjoys Helping


_________
Enjoys Communicating


_________
Enjoys Variety


_________
Enjoys New Challenges


_________
Peacemaker


_________
Analytical


_________
Solution Finder


_________
Solution Creator


_________
"A Master Healer"


_________
"A Master Communicator"


_________
"A Master of Pragmatic Solutions"

_________
"A Master Motivator"


_________
"Keeping the peace is most important."


_________
"Fairness is most important."


_________
"Results are most important."



_________
"Progress is most important."


_________
Avoids Confrontations


_________
Consistent


_________
Conscientious


_________
Productive


_________

*Total up the numbers for each vertical column (PA, PA-AS, AS, AG).
The totals directly correlate with what communication styles you innately possess or don’t possess as shown in the following breakdown:
36-40: Extremely High
31-35: High
26-30: Moderately High
21-25: Moderate
16-20: Moderately Low
11-15: Extremely Low

Again, one style is not better than another. Ideally, you will want to create somewhat of a balance among the differing methods because this will enable you the versatility to be successful in various roles of your vocation and personal life. Below you will find how the differing styles break down.

NCM: PA = PASSIVE
The Counselor, “A Healing Listener”

Strong Traits: Empathy & Understanding
Role: Resists giving advice. Shows you your options passively.
#1 Mental Talent: Great Listener
#1 Spiritual Talent: Discernment through Empathy
Animal: The Lamb

 

NCM: PA-AS = PASSIVE-ASSERTIVE
The Teacher, “A Master Communicator”

Strong Traits: Excellent Communicator & Knowledgeable
Role: Communicates knowledge & insights. Shows you “how to do” something.
#1 Mental Talent: Effectively Communicates Knowledge
#1 Spiritual Talent: Intuitive Communication
Animal: The Owl

 

NCM: AS = ASSERTIVE
The Adviser, “A Master of Pragmatics”

Strong Traits: Logical (Primarily) & Intuitive (Secondarily)
Role: Asserts the best option to take & provides council, secondarily.
#1 Mental Talent: Logical Problem Solver
#1 Spiritual Talent: Discernment through Intuitive Understanding
Animal: The Elephant

 

NCM: AG = AGGRESSIVE
The Coach, “A Master Motivator”

Strong Traits: Intuitive (Primarily) & Logical (Secondarily)
Role: Motivates others to accomplish their goals.
#1 Mental Talent: Creative Problem Solver
#1 Spiritual Talent: Intuitive Intelligence & Discernment through Vision
Animal: The Tiger

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mar 05

Podcast Episode: Self-Praise & Selfishness

By shaydawkins | Intellectual Rebel Podcast

Intellectual Rebel Podcast

Episode: “Self-Praise & Selfishness”

with Special Guest: CAITLIN THIEDE

This episode of the Intellectual Rebel Podcast delves into the topic of self-praise, selfishness, and how there are positive and negative aspects of both concepts with special guest Caitlin Thiede (www.storyspeak.net).  Both aspects play an essential role in relationships with others along with the most important relationship, the loving relationship with yourself. The loving relationship with yourself and how to build it through self-awareness techniques is discussed in great detail throughout the conversation by self-awareness expert, “Solution” Shay Dawkins. If you are interested in finding out how limitless your potential and love really is, then check out a free sample of the iSin: Upgrade to Life 2.0 Audiobook

Dec 13

The Truth: Jesus’s True Two Commandments

By shaydawkins | Intellectual Rebel Podcast , Redifining Religion

“Solution” Shay Dawkins, host of the Intellectual Rebel Podcast, explains the truth, a global truth, by defining Jesus’s Two Commandments that are not preached, discussed, or emphasized nearly enough. For both the religious and the anti-religious, know that Jesus’s Two Commandments are quite different from the many messages of Christianity. Jesus’s message is truly quite practical yet profound for anyone, regardless of your belief system, because it focuses on showing you where to find true love, how to find it, and how to truly live in love via learning to have a loving relationship with yourself. Continue reading

Nov 22

Self-Awareness: The Key to Great Relationships, God, Solutions, Opportunities, and much more

By shaydawkins | Intellectual Rebel Podcast

Shay Dawkins (IG: @SolutionShay) hosts this edition of the Intellectual Rebel Podcast with special guest Brandon Knott (IG: @LifeofBknott).

Subject matter discussed:

  • What is self-awareness?
  • Why is self-awareness important?
  • How does meditation correlate with self-awareness?
  • Do dreams play a role with consciousness?
  • God, consciousness, & self-awareness
  • Using adversity for your benefit
  • Seeing opportunity with self-awareness
  • How self-awareness enables you to build great relationships
  • Other benefits of attaining self-awareness

 

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