Category Archives for "Mental & Emotional Health"

Jun 03

What is Emotional Intelligence?

By Aireen Panganiban | Mental & Emotional Health

What is Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to a person’s ability to recognize emotions within themselves and others, and understand these emotions. It is the ability to use emotional cues as guide to one’s thoughts, behaviors and actions. An emotionally intelligent person is able to adapt to changing environments, and continue to work towards a goal.

If this sounds like the description of a successful salesperson, you’re correct. Emotional intelligence has an immense impact on sales performance. In fact, Colleen Stanley, author of Emotional Intelligence For Sales Success (in an interview with sales speaker and strategist Jill Konrath), describes EI as: “It’s your ability to identify, assess and control your own emotions and other’s emotions. It has a direct impact on sales results.”

Emotional Intelligence in Sales

Emotional intelligence was coined for a paper by Michael Beldoch, Clinical Professor of Psychology in Psychiatry at Cornell University. It was made into a buzzword by Daniel Goleman and his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence.

In the book, Goleman claims that EI matters more than technical expertise when it comes to job performance and leadership, and that 67% of the abilities required for success derive from emotional intelligence.

This rings true in sales, where the ability to develop and sustain relationships is essential to success. There’s only so much that theory can do. The true test of a great salesperson is when you put them in stressful situations. Many make the mistake of letting their emotions overpower their purpose/ goal. This leads to unproductive behaviors, such as product dumping, pursuing non-qualified leads and more. It can also turn prospects off, instead of bringing them into the fold.

A study by Gallup consultants Tony Rutigliano and Benson Smith claims that customer satisfaction and loyalty depend on their emotional connection with the salesperson. They say that a customer is 12 times more likely to remain loyal if they like the salesperson.

Top Emotional Intelligence Competencies in Sales

There are key emotional intelligence competencies that are shared by successful salespersons.

Empathy
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the shoes of your prospect. It is when you go outside of yourself in order to be aware and understand another person’s feelings and needs.

In sales, it bears on your general outlook towards another person. Are you able to look at them objectively? Do you try to understand their motivations? Is your customer service attentive and able to anticipate customer needs?

Self-Awareness
Shift your focus from your prospects for a moment and look at yourself. Remember that you also have your own set of motivations and needs. You have your own strengths and limitations, as well.

Wherever you are in ‘knowing yourself’ affects how you reach out to others. Do you come off as confident? Are you able to stand your ground and persuade your audience to consider your side? Can you influence and gain the commitment of your prospect?

Colleen Stanley puts it succinctly: “Know thyself. What are your hot buttons? What situations cause you to react or not act in a manner that serves you well personally and professionally?”

Once you have a good level of self-awareness, you can be strategic in how you approach business relationships. Play on your strengths instead of highlighting your weaknesses. Put your best foot forward as you work towards self-improvement and becoming a more emotionally intelligent salesperson.

Self-View
A salesperson eats rejection for breakfast. Thus, if you want to succeed in this field, you need to have a healthy level of self-esteem. Rejection is a part of sales. A salesperson achieves success by facing this reality, and waking up each day ready for breakfast!

Self-Expectation
What do you want for yourself and how do you hope to achieve this? Are you driven enough to try to attain your goals? Do you have what it takes to sustain the work necessary to achieving these goals?

There is a process in sales, which usually takes months. It is not a field suited for someone who is incapable of delayed gratification. The hours are long; and the work can sometimes be frustrating. You need to be driven, consistent, and optimistic if you want to succeed in sales.

Emotional Intelligence for Your Sales Team

Several high-profile companies, such as Motorola, 3M, American Express, Honeywell and MetLife have begun to offer emotional intelligence improvement programs as part of their management training. While EI in sales is still new, several sales leaders are already integrating emotional intelligence training into their sales training programs.

According to Collen Stanley: “Elevating your Sales EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) helps you sell bigger deals, in less time at full margin…. You have a sales team that knows how to manage themselves, read prospects better and overall are more enjoyable to work with.”

This article is written by Dan Sincavage, and is originally published at Tenfold.

Apr 24

Self-Awareness Test: What is your natural communication method?

By shaydawkins | Mental & Emotional Health

Self-Awareness Test

Category of Self-Awareness: Natural Personality
Aspect of Self-Awareness: Natural Communication Method

Understanding your Natural Communication Method (NCM) is important, but it is also important to note that you are capable of learning the other communication methods. It is important to understand your NCM; so, you are enabled to create a role in your vocation that most embraces your NCM.

Natural Communication Method Test

Below are ten horizontal rows with four words on each line. In each line, put "4" below the word or statement that best describes you in that row; a "3" below the word or statement that describes you next best; a "2" below the next best word or statement, and a "1" below the word or statement that least describes you. On each row, you will have one "4," one "3," one "2," and one "1."
PAPA-ASASAG
Total PA:

_________
Total PA-AS:

_________
Total AS:

_________
Total AG:

_________
Likes to Listen

_________
Likes to Share Knowledge

_________
Likes to Provide Guidance

_________
Likes to Inspire & Motivate

_________
Sensitive Feelings

_________
Likes Instructions

_________
Enthusiastic

_________
Takes Charge

_________
Nurturing

_________
Detail-Oriented

_________
Spontaneous

_________
Decision Maker

_________
Sympathetic

_________
Perfectionist

_________
Practical

_________
Bold

_________
"Rules should be fair."


_________
"Rules should be followed."

_________
"Rules can be bent."


_________
"You make your own rules."


_________
Enjoys Helping


_________
Enjoys Communicating


_________
Enjoys Variety


_________
Enjoys New Challenges


_________
Peacemaker


_________
Analytical


_________
Solution Finder


_________
Solution Creator


_________
"A Master Healer"


_________
"A Master Communicator"


_________
"A Master of Pragmatic Solutions"

_________
"A Master Motivator"


_________
"Keeping the peace is most important."


_________
"Fairness is most important."


_________
"Results are most important."



_________
"Progress is most important."


_________
Avoids Confrontations


_________
Consistent


_________
Conscientious


_________
Productive


_________

*Total up the numbers for each vertical column (PA, PA-AS, AS, AG).
The totals directly correlate with what communication styles you innately possess or don’t possess as shown in the following breakdown:
36-40: Extremely High
31-35: High
26-30: Moderately High
21-25: Moderate
16-20: Moderately Low
11-15: Extremely Low

Again, one style is not better than another. Ideally, you will want to create somewhat of a balance among the differing methods because this will enable you the versatility to be successful in various roles of your vocation and personal life. Below you will find how the differing styles break down.

NCM: PA = PASSIVE
The Counselor, “A Healing Listener”

Strong Traits: Empathy & Understanding
Role: Resists giving advice. Shows you your options passively.
#1 Mental Talent: Great Listener
#1 Spiritual Talent: Discernment through Empathy
Animal: The Lamb

 

NCM: PA-AS = PASSIVE-ASSERTIVE
The Teacher, “A Master Communicator”

Strong Traits: Excellent Communicator & Knowledgeable
Role: Communicates knowledge & insights. Shows you “how to do” something.
#1 Mental Talent: Effectively Communicates Knowledge
#1 Spiritual Talent: Intuitive Communication
Animal: The Owl

 

NCM: AS = ASSERTIVE
The Adviser, “A Master of Pragmatics”

Strong Traits: Logical (Primarily) & Intuitive (Secondarily)
Role: Asserts the best option to take & provides council, secondarily.
#1 Mental Talent: Logical Problem Solver
#1 Spiritual Talent: Discernment through Intuitive Understanding
Animal: The Elephant

 

NCM: AG = AGGRESSIVE
The Coach, “A Master Motivator”

Strong Traits: Intuitive (Primarily) & Logical (Secondarily)
Role: Motivates others to accomplish their goals.
#1 Mental Talent: Creative Problem Solver
#1 Spiritual Talent: Intuitive Intelligence & Discernment through Vision
Animal: The Tiger

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jul 30

Just the T.I.P.

By shaydawkins | Mental & Emotional Health

 

“Let’s play a little game called Just the TIP. Just for a second. Just to see how it FEELS.”

T.I.P. = Thought In Progress

Blinded Driver

How would you like to drive without the ability to see?

What if I told you that many people go through their entire life blinded because they are not consciously aware of their thoughts?

What if by changing your thoughts enabled you to literally begin changing your life?

First off, this article is not a “positive thinking article” that will tell you to “just be optimistic.” This article is a self-awareness article that emphasizes the importance of “thought awareness” along with “thinking for yourself.” A thought in and of itself will not create change in your life, but many similar thoughts repeated over time will, for better or worse, create meaningful change in your life. To explain how this change takes place, I first must explain that there are two different types of consciousness (awareness), the conscious and the subconscious. In a nutshell, the conscious is what you are aware of (what you see) and the subconscious is what you are not aware of (what you don’t see) yet is greatly effecting you. For example, the conscious is like the software on your phone (i.e. the apps on your phone and all the things you can visually see when you are using your phone) whereas the subconscious would be like the hardware in your phone that you don’t see (i.e. if you open up the back of your phone and look at all of the inner parts, then that would be your subconscious). Both the software and hardware of your phone are equally important and essential for your smartphone to work properly.

Consciously Rewire Your Subconscious

Your conscious FEEDS your subconscious, and your subconscious effects you exponentially more than your conscious. This is why a positive thought or “just thinking about what you want” will not get you what you want yet many positive thoughts repeated consciously over time will begin to bring you what you want. Many people get what they do not want because they have been unconsciously feeding their subconscious negative thoughts of “what they do not want” for a LONG TIME. Your subconscious mind is unemotional and simply grows what it is fed; hence, your subconscious does not see positive (good) or negative (bad). If you have been unconsciously thinking negative thoughts for a prolonged period of time, then I am going to be honest with you in that it will take time, discipline, and desire to rewire your subconscious to work for you rather than against you. For example, two people want to quit complaining; one person has been complaining for two months while the other person has been complaining for twenty years. In most cases, it will be easier for the person who has been complaining for two months to change their HABIT than it will be for the person who has been complaining for twenty years because the longer you have created the habit of doing anything makes it that much more challenging for you to change the habit.

With that being said, I will make you a promise. My promise is to you is that no matter how long you have been practicing negative thoughts or what negative things you have done, it is 100% possible for you to rewire your mind and ultimately rewire your life to how you see fit. Furthermore, I have some really good news and some “not so good news” to share with you. The really good news is that there is a short-cut that will enable you to consciously rewire your subconscious mind much more quickly and powerfully than just “thinking positive.” The “not so good news” is that this short-cut is hard work.

The Short-Cut

The short-cut to rewiring your mind quickly and powerfully for the betterment of you and all those you care about is to create the HABIT of dwelling in POSITIVE EMOTIONS. Think of your emotions as your “limitless power resource.” It is scientifically proven that your heart emits energy (“vibes”). When you begin to FEEL and DWELL in positive emotions, you literally begin changing the energy (“vibe”) around you, for the better. On the contrary, when you are FILLED with negative emotions, you literally begin changing the energy (“vibe”) around you, for the worse. For example, think of yourself driving your favorite sports car, and perceive your emotions as “your fuel.” When you are unemotional, your car is in first gear (you are traveling very slowly); hence, the thoughts you are thinking are traveling very slowly into your subconscious which is causing you to rewire your subconscious very slowly. When you are highly emotional (positive or negative), your car is FLYING down the road quickly just like “nitrous oxide” causes a car to go faster; hence, your thoughts are traveling quickly into your subconscious which is causing you to rewire your subconscious quickly. The key difference between a person dwelling in positive emotions versus a person dwelling in negative emotions is that a person dwelling in positive emotions will be focused on solutions (“what they want”) whereas a person dwelling in negative emotions will either have no focus or be focused on problems (“what they do not want”).

 

So, how are your emotions generated?
Well, there are many factors contributing to what emotions you are feeling, but the #1 way you generate your emotions is through your thoughts. Here is a small excerpt from my book, iSin: Upgrade To Life 2.0, explaining how your thoughts generate your emotions:

Thoughts Generate Emotions

Article originally posted on RealMinded.com

 

 

Jul 12

Heroes: Vol 1. Issue 1. “Heroes aren’t born; they are MADE.”

By shaydawkins | Mental & Emotional Health

Heroes aren’t born; they are made. A hero is very self-aware and emotionally intelligent. They are self-aware enough to realize their strengths, weaknesses, and imperfectness (most importantly). A hero sacrifices for the greater good of those associated with them, especially the ones they love. They sacrifice their self-pride in the sense they will many times “over produce” in their work yet not receive the credit they are due. When this situation occurs, they may find themselves feeling down for a moment (because they are human), but they always re-focus and find the courage to keep pushing. They keep pushing because they know “the push” further builds their character and mental fortitude. Frankly, they enjoy strengthening their character and mental fortitude because this enables their power to grow stronger. Their adversary, discouragement, stands no chance because they have an unwavering faith in themselves; this great faith may be shaken, but is never shattered.

A hero looks forward to the challenge of being treated UNFAIRLY, especially when it conjures up their adversary, Wrath, to come knock on their door. (BANG! BANG! BANG!) “Hero, you have been forsaken. Can you believe they have done this to you? You can cut them to their core with your knowledgeable and insightful words. Give them what they deserve! DO IT! (Wrath knocks again) BANG! BANG! BANG! Crush them hero! We both know your words will surely destroy them! They are wrong, and you are right; we both know this!” A true hero enjoys this challenge because they understand this is a GREAT opportunity to further build their patience. They know that great patience blended with a relentless work ethic is a “magical blend” that grows their powers exponentially. Before allowing Wrath to control them (because a hero will get quite angry at times), they will hit the “pause button” and self-reflect. Self-reflection enables them to rememeber that even though they have the power to destroy others, they must not allow Wrath to consume them. They know Wrath loves to destroy, and that Wrath will ultimately destroy them via robbing them of their own internal peace.

A superhero is enabled to use “wrongs done to them” and adversity, in general, as an opportunity to BUILD, not destroy. A superhero not only forgives, but consciously forgets (in most instances). They do this because they are aware that “holding on to wrongs” doesn’t enable them to FLY (First Love Yourself); oh, and we all know that superheroes love to FLY. They forgive when the other party was ninety-nine percent in the wrong. They forgive in this situation because they know it’s best for all parties involved to clear the air. They understand they are the only one who has attained the STRENGTH to say, “I’m sorry,” and enable all involved to move forward. This is an example of the great RESPONSIBILITY that comes with the GREAT POWER bestowed upon a superhero. To be continued…

This is Issue 1 of the Hero Series. New adversaries, new powers, and new challenges will be revealed in future issues. Be sure to follow the blog so that you will be notified when the next episode is released. If you would like to get way ahead of the game and begin awakening the superhero within you right now, then check out my book, iSin: Upgrade To Life 2.0iSin specializes in showing you how to tap into the GREAT POTENTIAL residing within you, by revealing practical ways to generate and dwell in SUPERNATURAL EMOTIONS. Furthermore, iSin not only reveals the true enemies of us all, SINFUL EMOTIONS, but also shows you how to use these sinful emotions for your benefit.

A hero realizes sinful emotions, but a superhero has the ability to manipulate and use sinful emotions in beneficial ways! –Shay Dawkins

Jul 09

Improve Your EQ!

By shaydawkins | Mental & Emotional Health

Raise your hand if you have problems!
(My right hand is raised)!

Raise your hand if you would like to become BETTER, RIGHT NOW!
(My left hand is raised!)

Raise your hand if you would like to help those you love not only fix their problems, but would like to enable them to find the soul source to solve all of their problems!
(AYYYYYY!! Both of my hands are raised to the SKY!!!)

We all as human beings deal with EMOTIONS; there are GOOD EMOTIONS that enable you to be strong, tap into YOUR GREAT POTENTIAL (some might say “God”), and live in your LOVE (LIGHT); on the contrary, there are SINFUL(BAD) EMOTIONS that only will weaken you, hinder you, and take you into DARKNESS (MISERY or SORROW)! Improving your EQ or emotional intelligence is essential for our growth as individuals. Before going any further, I strongly want to iterate that “believing in God or not believing in God” does not change the FACT that we all (as human beings) will face struggles and obstacles via being challenged by our own natural, sinful emotions! BOTH the religious and the atheist, BOTH the liberal and the conservative, BOTH the student and the teacher, BOTH the rich man and the poor man, BOTH the man and the woman, and BOTH the white man and the black man are all challenged by sinful emotions.

The Power of Your Thoughts

This battle has waged and will always wage in all of our own minds via the thoughts we choose to think! Ready to WIN? READY to REALIZE your GREAT POTENTIAL so that you may UNLEASH IT–not only for YOU, but for those YOU LOVE?! Your love, hope, happiness, peace, joy, and fulfillment are all at hand right now.

Here is a quick example of the power of your thoughts in that you can internally (emotionally) have whatever you want, right now:

Want ANGER? Think of something that makes you angry. Think of someone who did you wrong. Want to feel REALLY ANGRY? Keep dwelling on what made you ANGRY. FEED the ANGER by CONINUOUSLY THINKING of ALL THE WRONG that has been done to you. Now, STOP! Remember how you feel right now. Now, SWITCH your thoughts by thinking of something that makes you feel good. THINK of something you are APPRECIATIVE for. THINK of someone you are THANKFUL for and say, “Thank you,” to that person in your mind; say “Thank you” again to that person, and begin to FEEL the LOVE you FEEL TOWARDS that person. FEED the THANKFULNESS and LOVE you feel. DWELL in how BLESSED you are RIGHT NOW because you are BLESSED, BEAUTIFUL, and FULL of GREAT POTENTIAL.

You have activated your LIMITLESS potential when you are dwelling in good thoughts because GOOD THOUGHTS stimulate GOOD EMOTIONS! Furthermore, you should be able to really FEEL the difference in how the anger-based, SINFUL THOUGHTS FILLED you INTERNALLY (EMOTIONALLY) versus how the LOVE-BASED, GOOD THOUGHTS FILLED you INTERNALLY (EMOTIONALLY)!

Public Enemy #1

Here is a brief introduction to YOUR ENEMIES (SINFUL EMOTIONS) who want to ROB YOU of your love, hope, happiness, peace, joy, and fulfillment.
(In my boxing commentator voice), “In the red corner, straight out of darkness, standing UNDEFEATED in fading light, the love killing, hope draining, happiness hindering, peace eradicating, joy ruining, solution destroying, and the source of all sin; ladies and gentlemen, YOUR PUBLIC ENEMY #1— “IGNORANCE OF LOVE!”
“Ignorance of Love” can be more thoroughly defined as “not being aware of where the true source of love resides.” The true source of LOVE is found from WITHIN YOURSELF, and your Public Enemy #1, Ignorance of Love, wants to keep you blinded from that fact because if you do not REALIZE that your true love, happiness, peace, love, joy, and fulfillment are found from within yourself, then you will surely go search for these positive emotions in external things (yes, this includes external people). In a nut shell, this is where the sins of lust, vanity, and external addictions (physical vices) come into play because external pleasures may fill you with these good emotions in the short-term, but will easily cause you to create the sinful habit of becoming dependent on these external things for your INTERNAL RICHES (LOVE, PEACE, JOY, FULFILLMENT) that can only be found from WITHIN yourself. This will leave you weak and vulnerable because external circumstances may change, but your internal circumstances are always within your control. Your internal circumstances are always within your control because you can always CHANGE YOUR MIND and THINK BETTER THOUGHTS for yourself!

Other “Class A Emotional Sins”
Living in ANGER
Living in FEAR
Living in SELF-DOUBT
Living in DISTRACTIONS
COMPLAINING about things you cannot control

10 Unknown” Sins
1) Gossip (Meaningless or Empty Speech)
2) Not being an ACTIVE LISTENER
3) Reactively speaking BEFORE THINKING
4) Not living by YOUR WORD
5) Arguments
6) Finding JOY and ENTERTAINMENT in talking about other peoples’ imperfections
7) Being TOO SILENT when you are PEACEFUL and NOT COMMUNICATING what you want when you are PEACEFUL
8) Eavesdropping
9) Not having GOOD GOALS
10) Not thinking for yourself

For more information on sinful emotions and how you can learn to control and use them for your benefit, check out: iSin: Upgrade To Life 2.0.

Feb 14

Finding True Love (2.0 Version)

By shaydawkins | Mental & Emotional Health , Relationships

Five years ago, I published this article, 3 Days for Find True Love Any Time of the Year, regarding my first book, and this article was where I felt my writing began to “transition” and go up a notch to what eventually would become iSin, my recently published book. (Shhhhh… don’t tell anyone, but iSin is only .99 for just this week on my website via using the promo code “Launch” (there is a link at the very bottom of the page)– and this is my first and last shameless plug).  Over the past five years, I have grown SOOOOOO MUCH personally (from my many “mistakes” and successes) and as a writer so now I will revisit that article, expand on it, get a little deep,  and most importantly HAVE SOME FUN– SO MUCH FUN– that this post ENRICHES anyone who takes the time to read it; oh, and if you didn’t know my writing style is unique, fun, and candid; so, get ready for an experience!

Hop on board and strap yourself in because we are about to take a little RIDE! 

rollercoaster-beginning

*All Songs Suggested for this article can be found on my Spotify Playlist entitled “Finding True Love” (Search: “Shay.Dawkins” on Spotify)

Song: “I’m a Believer” -The Monkees

I BELIEVE

I’m a BELIEVER in the POWER of an intelligent, informed MIND via science, logic, and reason YET I am also a BELIEVER in the POWER of emotional intelligence via spirituality, practicing good (solution-focused) thoughts, and learning to generate good, love-based EMOTIONS.  I am a BELIEVER in protecting our environment, the freedom for ALL to LOVE and MARRY who they so choose YET I am also a BELIEVER in making a dollar via FREE MARKETS, providing people with opportunity (jobs) to support themselves, and although I BELIEVE in the freedom for ALL to LOVE, BE WITH, and MARRY who they so choose, I DO NOT BELIEVE in “promoting” my or anyone’s sexual orientation as the “RIGHT WAY” and “shoving an agenda down other peoples’ throats” on an “end all-be all” basis.

I’m a BELIEVER in being aware of “external” circumstances, problems, and political candidates whose decisions I may or may not agree with YET I BELIEVE that your and my INTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES are much more IMPORTANT, PERTINENT, and POWERFUL than any external circumstances.  I BELIEVE in discussing issues (problems) with the GOAL to understand and SOLVE those problems.  I BELIEVE in DISAGREEING and DISAGREEING so PASSIONATELY that I FIND GOOD, LOGICAL REASONS to BACK UP the BELIEFS I AM PASSIONATE about.  I BELIEVE that it is OK to naturally “not like” some individuals you will come across YET I ALSO BELIEVE that LOVE (TRUE LOVE found from within) is MORE IMPORTANT and that ARGUMENTS in and of themselves are WRONG and BAD (SINFUL).  I BELIEVE that EVERY PERSON should LOVE THEMSELVES FIRST and BE SELFISH enough to find their love, peace, and joy from WITHIN THEMSELVES YET I BELIEVE and KNOW from first-hand experience that TO LOVE YOURSELF you must LOVE and CARE for others as a LIFE BUILT for LONG-TERM SUCCESS both INTERNALLY (happiness, peace, love, and joy) and EXTERNALLY (financially, social status, and nice materialistic things) can only be attained with a STRONG TEAM that YOU BUILD around you through the HARD WORK of CHOOSING LOVE– TOUGH LOVE, REAL LOVE, COMPASSIONATE LOVE, CARING LOVE– on that darkest day when your relationship WILL BE put to the ultimate test!

AYYYYYYY!  BELIEVE in YOURSELF; BELIEVE that LOVE WINS; I BELIEVE!

roller-coaster-2

FEEL (FILL) the REAL

What is really real?  A dog can smell things that we (as humans) can’t; just because we can’t smell what a dog smells, then does that mean those smells don’t exist?  You can’t see anger, but you sure as hell can FEEL IT!  You can’t see love, but (oh man) you can FEEL IT!  You can’t see disappointment, but you can definitely can FEEL IT!  You can’t see happiness, but you can FEEL IT!  So, if we can’t see anger, love, disappointment, and happiness in a “physical form,” then does that mean these EMOTIONS do not exist?

What if I told you there was a logical way to manipulate your EMOTIONS?  What if I told you that REALEST things in this life experience are not the things you can physically SEE, but are the EMOTIONS you and I can only FEEL?  What if there was a point where spirituality and logic meshed together as ONE?  What if you REALLY are CREATING YOUR LIFE via what you are predominately FEELING– FILLING YOURSELF WITH?!  What if I told you there was a SOLE SOURCE you could TAP INTO any time, any place, and anywhere that would enable you to FIND YOUR ANSWERS, FULFILL YOU, EMPOWER YOU, and ENERGIZE YOU to the point where you may find it hard to sleep because you are FILLED with so much PASSION, MEANING, PURPOSE, and EXCITEMENT for YOUR LIFE?!

Well, the GOOD NEWS is that THERE IS an EASY, SIMPLE SOLUTION that will enable you to manipulate your emotions and create your life however you see fit; this ONE SOLE SOURCE will provide you INTERNALLY with the following: TRUE LOVE, answers, fulfillment, empowerment, energy, passion, meaning, purpose, and excitement. The “BAD” NEWS is that IT’S EXTREMELY HARD WORK!  Now, before I go any further, I do not want to sugar coat what I am about to discuss because I believe in mentioning the UGLY aspects upfront of choosing to tap into this source of TRUE LOVE.

roller-coaster-3

Song: “Energy” -Drake


The Ugly Truth

Symptoms you may experience, if you make the choice to FIND TRUE LOVE:

  1. “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” -Unknown
    This source of true love will enable you to see the truth, and the truth is hard to handle at first because the truth is blunt and apparent; hence, some family and “friends” you previously thought “had your back” may betray you and may not like the “new you.”  Misery loves company, BUT HAPPY PEOPLE LIKE HAPPY PEOPLE.  If this occurs to you, then YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE TO PERCEIVE some people being “cut out of your life” as “bad”  because “things are falling a part” OR you can perceive it as “good” because “the small cancers are being removed from your life” and “better things are falling together.”
  2. “GREAT progress is almost always met with GREAT resistance.” -Shay Dawkins You very likely will begin to QUESTION ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.  It is much easier to stay asleep and “keep going through the motions,” than it is to WAKE UP and begin to see things and people for who they truly are (internally).  I discuss how to develop an “Internal Raydar” throughout iSin which is much like “feeling the force” (for any Star Wars fans), and as you develop this “Internal Raydar” you will become “vibe sensitive” or “consciously sensitive to the energy around you” which will give you the ability to feel the “negative energy (darkness)” residing within people and in certain places (situations) which sounds cool (it is cool), because you will be able to avoid bad situations.  However, (at first) you may be “misunderstood” by those who don’t know the “new you” yet.  This can potentially cause you to FEEL ALONE and experience loneliness.  If (and more than likely when) this happens to you, then YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE TO PERCEIVE it as “bad,” because (no matter what anyone says) no one likes to FEEL ALONE OR you can perceive it as “good” because you are simply experiencing “growing pains” in that you are growing, learning, and progressing which is a GOOD THING!  Let me emphasize that there is a BIG difference between being alone (having “You Time”) and FEELING ALONE.  By the way, I still battle this “lonely aspect” to some degree, but the occurrences I deal with have dwindled down to extremely rare, “close to extinct” occurrences.  Lastly, no that you are NOT ALONE– your LOVE, PEACE, and JOY are always within you and you WILL NEVER LOSE (INTERNALLY) as long as you REALIZE YOUR GREAT POTENTAL, KEEP MOVING FORWARD, and DON’T GIVE UP!  Furthermore, this iSin Blog and I, personally, am here.  Most of the time when a person “FEELS ALONE” the quickest solution is to simply talk to someone and “vent your emotions” to get what is bothering you OUT OF YOU!  You can feel free to message me, comment on the blog, and reach out to me– I do have somewhat of a life away from iSin (haha)) and can’t guarantee how quickly I will respond, but I will.  Over time, there will be a community of people here on the iSin Blog (Community) that you can “lean on” and simply talk to, if and when you need it.
  3. “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” -Jesus

    If and when you experience point #1 and are “feeling betrayed” or “being done wrong,” then YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE to find the strength to let those people LEAVE while FORGIVING THEM, simultaneously; MOST IMPORTANTLY, you do not forgive them for them as you forgive them FOR YOU!  A lot of people who realize the truth are emotionally intelligent and intelligent overall, but knowing the truth and “realizing wrong” can easily lead to LIVING IN ANGER (WRATH).  Trust me, it’s taken me a LONG TIME to get to where I am today in that 95% of the time I now am able to USE “FEELING ANGRY” as a “positive tool” for myself via “focusing the high energy of anger” into simply “focused energy,” but it has been a long, winding road to get to this point.  If and when you feel yourself getting angry too often, then there are some simple tools that are EASY to practice, but it is hard to create the habit of remembering to do them when anger has the best of you.  One tool is to create the thought (mind frame) of “picking your battles (Is the situation really that important?),” and another tool is to simply find something or someone to appreciate and be thankful for.

morpheus-red-pill-blue-pill

Song: “Hero” -Mariah Carey

The Source: F.L.Y.

The EASY, SIMPLE SOLUTION that will enable you to manipulate your emotions, create your life however you see fit, and provide you INTERNALLY with TRUE LOVE, answers, fulfillment, empowerment, energy, passion, meaning, purpose, and excitement is to

F.L.Y.
First Love Yourself

What does this really mean though?
In a nutshell, this means to realize the POWER OF YOUR THOUGHTS because YOUR THOUGHTS GENERATE YOUR EMOTIONS and YOUR EMOTIONS cause you to FEEL which causes you to be “FILLED WITH” whatever YOU ARE FEELING.  If you go back to the previous section, then look where I bolded “YOU WILL HAVE THE CHOICE” when pertaining to how you can respond to a negative, external circumstance. YOU always HAVE A CHOICE to CHANGE YOUR MIND when it comes to PERCEIVING EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES.  You can CHOOSE to “be a victim of EXTERNAL circumstances and let your circumstances define you” OR you can CHOOSE to be a “CREATOR of YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES and define your circumstances.”

10 Good Thinking Habits
(Excerpt from the iSin Chapter, “Love Your Mind”)

“To be made new in the attitude and thoughts of your mind.” –Ephesians 4:23

1)  Constantly listen to music that makes you FEEL GOOD. Let me reiterate that your DAY will be a LOT MORE FUN with MUSIC, especially good MUSIC that you ENJOY!

2)  Constantly find things to appreciate and say “thank you” to.

3)  Constantly find things that MAKE YOU LAUGH.

4)  Watch inspirational videos that get you “HYPED” and build your energy.

5)  Surround yourself with people who “build you up (build your energy)” and enable you to DWELL on GOOD.

6)  Find multiple “carrot sticks” (as mentioned in a previous chapter) or “fellowship events” that break up the monotony of your week and give you something to look forward to every week.

7)  Actively think to yourself, “How can I ENJOY this PHENOMENAL day with BOUNDLESS OPPORTUNITY to the ABSOLUTE FULLEST?!?!?”

8)  Find someone to give an honest compliment too. Making others feel good will essentially make you feel good (most of the time).

9)  If angry, find a productive way to vent such as working out, writing, etc.; transform the high energy of anger into productive energy for you that serves you.

10)  Constantly find and dwell on small “wins” you have accomplished

BE CRAZY enough to HAVE FUN!
Feb 03

BE CRAZY!

By shaydawkins | Mental & Emotional Health

BE CRAZY enough to HAVE FUN!

Founder, Shay Dawkins, on Halloween

Song: “Crazy B*tch” -Buckcherry

Be CrAzY!

F*ck being “normal!”  You should be CRAZY enough to WANT BETTER, BE CRAZY enough to WANT MORE out of your life, BE CRAZY enough to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, BE CRAZY enough to TALK ABOUT YOUR IDEAS, BE CRAZY enough to THINK for YOURSELF, BE CRAZY enough to BELIEVE in your “gut feelings,” BE CRAZY enough to realize that a “status quo” mind frame will lead to a “status quo” life, BE CRAZY enough to DREAM, and EVEN BE CRAZIER to GO AFTER those DREAMS with EVERY OUNCE of EFFORT YOU’VE GOT!  BE THAT F*CKING CRAZY!

Here is QUICK TEST to see if you have been LIVING or EXISTING:

 If you died tomorrow, then could you honestly say you experienced everything your heart desires?  Were you CRAZY enough to visit all of the places you yearned to visit?  Were you CRAZY enough to SHOW those you love that you LOVE them?  Were you CRAZY enough to LIVE YOUR LIFE to the FULLEST?  Were you CRAZY enough to LOVE those you LOVE ALL OUT with no LIMITS?  Were you a CRAZY person who LIVED or were you a “normal, robot” who EXISTED?

You should know that “YOLO (You Only Live Once)” is NOT TRUE (I knew there was some reason I never was fond of “YOLO” when it was popular) yet “YODO (You Only Die Once)” is TRUE!  Just because a person is breathing does not mean that person is LIVING.  Many people “breathe and EXIST” yet few people are CRAZY ENOUGH to LIVE!  Now, I (personally) do not have anything against “normal” people, but I AM EMBRACING and PROMOTING for you to be “CRAZY” in the above described ways.  I AM stating that it is BETTER to be “a little TOO CRAZY” than to be “a little TOO NORMAL (BORING)!”  I AM stating that it is BETTER to THRIVE than to simply EXIST and SURVIVE!  I AM stating that it is better to GET IN THE GAME– swing and “strike out”– shoot and miss — try and “fail”– but GET YOUR ASS OFF THE SIDELINES and SWING, SHOOT, TRY, FAIL, SWING AGAIN, SHOOT AGAIN, TRY AGAIN, and FAIL AGAIN because you ONLY LOSE if YOU QUIT or if you NEVER GET YOUR ASS OFF THE SIDELINES and INTO THE GAME!

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